All I can think of is how unlucky I’ve been lately. At the end of June my marriage of 21 years fell apart. Honestly, it was a long time in coming, but that’s when it ended. In October I moved 1,000 miles away from my girls because I had nowhere else to go. So I moved into the spare bedroom in my parents’ house. One small coffee roasting business, one small room with my parents, no job that pays my bills. Unlucky.
But in order to keep the roasting business going, I need to have a space that the health department will smile upon. The business is small enough that I don’t have enough volume to pay for rent and utilities, even in a small space. My only option is to take a huge chance and expand. I started making plans in August. It is now March, a full seven months later, and I seem to be no closer to opening the shop than when I began. It is a waiting game. I wait for everyone… the Small Business Association, the landlord, the architect, the builder, the permits, the government agencies. Unlucky.
In January I hired a front end manager and creative director for the coffee shop. I assumed we would be open in March. If the winds of fate are good to us, we’ll open in July. I have no paycheck for her. I have no paycheck for me. Unlucky.
In the meantime, knowing that we’re about four months out from opening, I’ve been putting resumes and job applications out, at least one a day for the last month. Last night as I was applying for one more position, it was obvious how absurd my education is and the jobs I’m applying for really is. I have four college degrees. I have not had one single call back for any position that I’ve applied for. Unlucky.
I am white. I am male. I am educated. I have good credit. I have a family who is willing to help out signing loans, making the business go. I need to change my narrative.
My marriage ended. My parents took me in. Privilege.
I own a small business. It is expanding. Privilege.
I have an amazingly creative employee who sees the vision and what will come eventually. Privilege.
While I am stressed about not having a job, and the days are long and difficult for me, I have enough resources around me that I do not fear being homeless, hungry, or paying my bills. Privilege.
No. I am not unlucky. I am blessed.
Rev. Dr. Kirk E. Jeffery

One thought on “(Un)Lucky

  1. Pingback: (Un)Lucky | uncosynchro

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